When Champions Falter
Posted by Ben Cordes on January 3, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
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Tags: Miscellaneous, Soccer
Let me be the first to say “Happy New Year” to all you Sportsgeekz out there in the vastness of the Intarweb. I hope your 2007 is a pleasant, fruitful, and productive one; I think you can expect good things out of us in the new year and we hope you’ll stick around for the ride.
With that out of the way, let’s get snarky. Who doesn’t love to see a champion losing?
A bit of background. In the English Premier League, Chelsea are the New York Yankees. They spend big, they have the highest payroll in the league, and because of it they’ve won two league championships in a row and were looking pretty good to make it three at the start of this season. But Manchester United (let’s call them the EPL’s Boston Red Sox) have opened up a six-point lead at the midpoint of the season and show no sign of giving it up.
I. Am. Loving. This. We Americans tend to thrive on champions. We love to see teams establish a dynasty – the Chicago Bulls of the 90’s were everybody’s favorite team back then. But we also thrive on the divide between good and evil. How many times have you heard a football fan say, “I only cheer for two teams: (some home team they like), and whoever’s playing against the Dallas Cowboys.”
The same thing’s happening in England. Manchester United used to have their own dynasty going about five years ago, but to be perfectly honest I’m just so happy that Chelsea isn’t winning that I don’t care who’s in front of them. Chelsea is everything that’s evil about sports: a billionaire owner buys the team, decides to sink tons of money into buying up overvalued players, wins a championship. Where’s the fun in that? I bitch about “parity” in the NFL as much as the next guy (hi, Allen) but there’s something to be said for more than one team having even a chance to be successful.
Look, you all know how little I like baseball, but I’ll be honest. I laugh with glee every time I hear George Steinbrenner toss a Next Year For Sure sound bite at the media because I think that the Yankees are evil. Lots of money doesn’t buy you a team – it buys you a bunch of individually good players. If nothing else, the New England Patriots have shown us that having a good team goes a long way even if you don’t have many superstar players. You might even win a league championship or three.
And who thinks of the New England Patriots as evil? Well, okay, Eric Mangini probably does, but he doesn’t count.
Meanwhile, back in England, all the teams faced a tough schedule over the winter holidays: four games in ten days is a lot by professional soccer standards. Manchester United came through in style with three wins and a draw. But every time I opened up my blogs and saw the news, I had to laugh, because Chelsea drew three and won one. Chelsea’s manager, who loves to talk smack, had said that these couple of games were going to be important and now that he’s trailing by six points again he’s claiming that he’s “happy” with how far back his team is.
I am eating this up faster than my dad’s standing rib roast on New Year’s Day – and my father is a damn good cook.
So, while you’re hunkering down in front of your televisions this week to watch the mystery that is the college football bowl system attempting to resolve a “national champion” through one game, just remember: Americans may love a winner, but there’s nothing more fun than watching an evil team lose.
More Technorati: EPL, Chelsea, Manchester United
NFL Week 17 Picks
Posted by Allen Holt on December 30, 2006 @ 4:28 pm
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Tags: NFL
New York Giants (-2.5) at WASHINGTON REDSKINS
I think it’s best for all parties involved with the Giants — particularly their fans — that this season end as soon as possible.
Buffalo Bills at BALTIMORE RAVENS (-9)
The Ravens still have a chance to lock up home field advantage, so they’ll won’t be looking past the Bills. Baltimore should have next week to rest.
GREEN BAY PACKERS at Chicago Bears (-3)
Unlike the Ravens, the Bears have nothing left to play for until the postseason gets here. Over/under on the number of nostalgic Brett Favre bits on the Sunday night telecast? Whatever it is, take the over. The Pack wins this one for Brett, who announces immediately after the game that he’s coming back for ‘07.
Pittsburgh Steelers at CINCINNATI BENGALS (-6)
The Bengals salvage this last game of the season, only to see the two AFC wild card slots go to Denver and the Jets.
Detroit Lions at DALLAS COWBOYS (-12.5)
Dallas takes out all of their frustrations on the hapless Lions. Fans in Ford Field cheer wildly when the clock hits 0:00 at the end of the fourth, rejoicing the expected end of the Matt Millen Era. After the game, the Lions announce Millen has been given a three-year contract extension and has the Ford family’s complete support and respect. Brady Quinn begins condo shopping in suburban Detroit.
Cleveland Browns at HOUSTON TEXANS (-4)
The Texans pull out a win to finish 6-10 in Gary Kubiak’s first season as coach, their best record in three years. Maybe it’s not Reggie Bush levels of excitement, but nevertheless it shows Houston fans the team’s headed in the right direction. It doesn’t appear the same can be said for the Browns, who axe Romeo Crennel on Monday (after ten wins in two years) and set the Rebuildometer back to zero.
Miami Dolphins at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-9)
It’s not often that a 12-4 record and a division title could be considered a disappointment. This year for Indy, it is.
Jacksonville Jaguars at KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-2.5)
Herm Edwards tries desperately to get Larry Johnson the NFL rushing title by running him 41 times for 168 yards. Unfortunately for Herm and Larry, LaDanian Tomlinson goes for 161 in the Chargers’ win over the Cardinals, securing the title for himself.
ST. LOUIS RAMS (-2) at Minnesota Vikings
After the game, the 8-8 Rams realize how close they came to being able to win the NFC West, and vow to themselves not to let the Seahawks slip away from them next year.
CAROLINA PANTHERS (-3) at New Orleans Saints
Yet another stat to point out just how bad the NFC is this year: 10-6 will be a good enough record to get the Saints a first-round bye.
Oakland Raiders at NEW YORK JETS (-12)
The Raiders are so bad that they can’t even lose right: even a season as abjectly miserable as this one has been won’t even net them the top overall pick.
Atlanta Falcons at PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (-8)
Jeff Garcia leads the Eagles to the NFC East title and secures himself a nice fat contract from some QB-desperate team for ‘07. In a post-game press conference, Falcons coach Jim Mora “jokingly??? tells reporters how much he’d love to coach the Cardinals if only he weren’t under contract with Atlanta. Owner Arthur Blank fixes that problem for Mora moments later.
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3)
What does it say about the defending NFC champions that they’re underdogs to a four-win team on their third quarterback of the year? The Seahawks do still have Hasselbeck and Alexander, don’t they?
New England Patriots at TENNESSEE TITANS (-3)
Brady sits after halftime; Vince Young does what Vince Young does; Titans fans get one massive collective erection looking ahead to 2007.
San Francisco 49ers at DENVER BRONCOS (-10.5)
Jay Cutler shakes Alex Smith’s hand after the game: “Don’t sweat it, man, I just had a better team around me when I got here than what you had. You’ll be fine.???
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (-14) at Arizona Cardinals
Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz watches this game from the Detroit locker room, looks at all of that offensive talent in Arizona, that beautiful new stadium, and dials his agent on his cell phone, then calls information and gets the number for a realtor in Phoenix.
NFL Power Rankings: Week Sixteen
Posted by The Geekz on December 28, 2006 @ 12:35 pm
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Tags: NFL, Power Rankings
1. San Diego (13-2; last week: 1)
They’re becoming more cold-blooded and efficient each week. And I’m sure Arizona’s going to send a nice fruit basket to Jason Taylor after his nice little jab at Shawne Merriman’s Defensive POY candidacy. Right after Merriman sets a new sack record in only 12 games and impales Matt Leinart with one of his own linemen.
2. Baltimore (12-3; lw: 2t)
The hell with playing for a bye - go for home field advantage.
3. New Orleans (10-5; lw: 5t)
Reggie Bush’s career begins on the same field where Tom Coughlin’s ends. Circle of life, man, circle of life.
4. Chicago (13-2; lw: 4)
Is it possible the Bears are the least fearsome 13-2 team in NFL history? Betcha Griese gets more than half a quarter of playing time this week.
5. New England (11-4; lw: 5t)
The win over the Jags means they might just end up playing someone else in the first round of the playoffs. And if you’re curious - yes, Ben F. did wet himself just a little when Brady took that hit.
6. Indianapolis (11-4; lw: 2t)
Nice Christmas gift for Ron Dayne, Colts. You shouldn’t have. And, now that Dan Marino’s been retired for awhile, is it safe to say that Peyton Manning is the undisputed master of the “sound diplomatic while actually crucifying teammates” technique? “C’mon guys, take it easy on [insert full Christian name and street address of teammate here]. It’s a team game; we win and lose as a team, and it’s just not right or accurate to point fingers at [points finger at same teammate named above] as if his six missed tackles cost us a freaking home playoff game. Let’s just say that the team is going to have another meeting or two, maybe at [poor pitiful teammate’s address].”
7. Philadelphia (9-6; lw: 9)
Terrell Owens returning to Philly, Owens and Garcia playing against one another, Romo implodes, the Eagles sneak into the playoffs, the Cowboys lose their grip on the top spot in the NFC East. You’d think there was something funny in all of that, but there really really isn’t. Sigh.
8. Denver (9-6; lw: 12)
Was anyone really that shocked that a guy from Santa Claus, Indiana would deliver big on a Christmas Eve game?
9 (tie). Dallas (9-6; lw: 7)
Making excuses, bashing play calling… now there’s a TO we can get behind! So much for Parcells taking three teams to a Super Bowl. Now that Terry Glenn’s put his TO cents in (get it? two?) and that locker room’s splitting up faster than Jessica Simpson and Whoever, Parcells will be more likely be taking three grandkids to Chuck E Cheese in February than three teams to the Big Game.
9 (tie). Tennessee (8-7; lw: 11)
Prognosis: Vince Young has infected the entire team with a severe case of priapism –? they just won’t go down [1]. A playoff berth is still just a dot on the horizon, but a strong showing against the Patriots this weekend might just cement Young’s status as rookie of the year (Sorry, Mo-Jo.)
11. New York Jets (9-6; lw: –)
Ben F. wants to meet the man that said Pennington was already washed up and couldn’t lead his team out of a wet paper bag much less on a playoff run. Oh wait… that was Ben.
12. Cincinnati (8-7; lw: 
The remaining 8-7 team that a) doesn’t have Vince Young under center and b) needs the least help from other teams to make the playoffs. That and a long snapper. Sweet Jesus.
Buh-bye: Jacksonville (lw: 10).
[1] See also Ben F.’s high school girlfriend Kristy.
News and Notes from NFL Week Sixteen
Posted by Allen Holt on December 26, 2006 @ 4:08 pm
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Tags: NFL
Sorry for the lack of updates these last few days — the holiday season might have given us some cool books and awesome new noise-cancelling headphones, but it also took all of the time and attention we normally would have given to the site. Things will return to normal with the start of the year, we promise.
But so as not to leave you completely deprived, a few quick, ill-thought-out, random thoughts concerning Week 16 of the National Football League:
» The NFC is guaranteed of having an 8-8 team in the playoffs. The AFC might have 10-6 teams sit out. There might be something to this concept of not seeding playoff teams based on conference, though as we all know, these things are incredibly cyclical — anyone remember from the mid-80s to mid-90s when it seemed as if no AFC team would ever be able to win a Super Bowl again?
» Speaking of, can we just decide now that the winner of the Baltimore-San Diego AFC Championship Game is the 2006 NFL champion? We know that we still have to go through the spectacle of the Super Bowl itself, but given the way the Chargers and Ravens are playing and the massive blister that is the entire NFC, that “spectacle” might be more akin to “ritual sacrifice.” But man, are we already looking forward to the AFC title game.
» Funny how this has been such a down season for New England, a year in which the Patriots clearly weren’t playing at the levels we’ve become used to over the last few years… and it’ll still end up as an 11- or 12-win season with another division title earned. Next year, though, the AFC East should be wide open — all four teams look capable of making a run at the division in ‘07.
» We predict the following coaches will be filing for unemployment by late next week: Denny Green, Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher (admittedly, by his own choice), Jim Mora. Maybe Romeo Crennel. We predict Art Shell will not lose his job, though we think he should. It’s surprising the number of high-profile coaches whose teams have disappointed with this year when so many teams with no-name rookie coaches have done so well. Almost makes you question exactly how valuable the head coach is to a team’s fortunes.
» NBC moves this week’s Bears-Packers game to Sunday night, obviously gambling that they’ll be broadcasting Brett Favre’s final game — the telecast is sure to be wall-to-wall Favre. Which means, of course, that Favre is almost a lock to come back in ‘07.
» Finally, congratulations to our good buddy Jay for winning his second consecutive Sportsgeekz Fantasy Football League championship. He also won the Sportsgeekz Pick ‘Em Challenge in 2004, meaning that he officially has owned our collective Sportsgeekz asses for the last three years. Maybe we should look into having Jay write a fantasy column for the site next season…?
NFL Power Rankings: Week Fifteen
Posted by The Geekz on December 21, 2006 @ 12:29 pm
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Tags: NFL, Power Rankings
There’s some excitement in the ol’ Power Rankings this week since so many of the teams we liked to think of as “good” got their butts handed to them last week. So many teams lost that one of those losers, the Bengals, actually gained a spot. And thanks to all of those losses, we can now officially welcome the Tennessee Titans to the rankings for the first time this year. We expect to see more of them here in ‘07.
1. San Diego (12-2; Last Week: 1)
What more can we really say about LaDanian Tomlinson at this point? OK, we’ll say this: remember that he re-did his contract several years ago at a price lower than market value so that he could stay in San Diego long-term and let management build up the rest of the team around him. Maybe some of these guys who simply sign with whoever offers them the most money might want to look to LT as an example instead — especially if he ends up with a Super Bowl ring this year.
2 (tie). Baltimore (11-3; lw: 4)
This ranking is entirely contingent on McNair’s returning to the lineup on Sunday. We can’t in good conscience put any team relying on Kyle Boller as their quarterback this high. Admittedly, if there’s anything we learned last weekend, it’s that if a team has a sufficently good and motivated defense, they don’t need an offense at all.
2 (tie). Indianapolis (11-3; lw: 5)
Think the Colts missed Freeney much? While we certainly don’t feel like the ship had been righted, Monday night’s win over Cincinnati at least means the Colts aren’t sinking any deeper. Did anybody really expect Peyton Manning not to bounce back to form sooner or later? There won’t be any resting Indy’s starters this year — they’re not even guaranteed a first-round bye yet. (Indy still has Houston and Miami, the Ravens have Pittsburgh and Buffalo; odds favor the Colts getting to sit out Wild Card Weekend.)
4. Chicago (12-2; lw: 3)
Rex Grossman overdelivers to make up for a crappy defense? Wait a minute…this is just the introduction to the opposite sketches! Man, we so fell for it. Their record be damned, home field advantage be damned (remember, that Bucs debacle was at Solider Field) — if I’m a Bears fan, I’m terrified of the upcoming postseason.
5 (tie). New Orleans (9-5; lw: 2)
Mulligan, n (’m&-li-g&n) : A second shot permitted without penalty.
5 (tie). New England (10-4; lw 6t)
The poor outmatched Texans got a face full of Patriots Ire at getting blanked by the ‘Fins. Stomping the Texans 40-7 isn’t necessarily the mark of a team ready for the playoffs. Not committing any turnovers? That is.
7. Dallas (9-5; lw:
They win the division with a win over the Eagles. Think T.O. spitting on someone is despicable? That’s because you haven’t seen him tackle Swoop on the sidelines and squeeze out a tightly coiled pile of holiday cheer on his chest this Monday night.
8. Cincinnati (8-6; lw: 9)
The least of the 8-6 evils, it seems. They kinda have to win this week, cuz if it comes down to a week 17 visit from Pittsburgh to decide this one we’re gonna weep openly.
9. Philadelphia (8-6; lw: 12)
Kudos for keeping the NFC East interesting and keeping hope alive for gay quarterbacks everywhere that they, too, could someday pilot NFL teams! Hey, do you think Garcia and T.O. will hug before the game?
10. Jacksonville (8-6; lw: 6t)
We’re starting to think the Jags really don’t want to make the playoffs.
11. Tennessee (7-7; lw: –)
Five in a row, and in the middle of a playoff pack. *This* is why the NFL playoffs shouldn’t be seeded. We don’t think the Titans are there quite yet, but the definition of a good team is one balanced enough that when one unit doesn’t show (the offense, in this case), another can bail them out (the defense). We think it’s time we all start giving Jeff Fisher the respect he deserves.
12. Denver (8-6; lw: –)
Funny the effect a single win can have. That, and having the Jags and the Bengals put up big fat losses. But whatever works for you.
Buh-bye: Seattle (lw: 10), New York Giants (lw: 11)